This is a tiny snippet throughout a very difficult time in my career, past relationships and home life. For me I believe it comes down to mental illness and bottling things up.
Lets go through the last 8 years.... I have been diagnosed with generalised anxiety, panic disorder, social anxiety and most recently schizoaffective bipolar type disorder. I also suffer with obsessive compulsive disorder, agriphobia and hypocrondia. I couldnt cope with a long term relationship breakdown in 2015 and getting my heart broken as well as good old career stress so you could say I had somewhat of a nervous breakdown. I lost my shit, walked out on my career as a Finance Manager and moved to my home away from home, Broome WA. Why Broome you may ask ? Well apart from the obvious that it's a dream holiday destination and ahhhh yes my Dad has a permanent caravan site on the beach so why the hell not?! What could go wrong, living off the sale of my car in my mind I didn't have to worry about anything...i know right HaHaHAHAHA....Get real Norelle....Yep you're thinking didn't she sell her car ?! Well yes I did hahaha but during my relationship breakup I thought what the hell?! I'll buy a brand new black SUV ! Anyhoo...moving along from that I decided RIGHT I need to look for a job and see if Broome is a short or long term thing....Well I decided I wanted a cleaning or hospitality job, something other than finance and budgeting and cashflow...(you get the jist). Well from dropping loads of resumes to all the resorts around town I didn't hear a single thing !!
Meanwhile the bank account balance going into serious meltdown, I started experiencing alot of sadness and no love for life or even getting out of bed. Now whilst I will never go on about the brief time with the black dog it breaks my heart seeing how many beautiful people I know that suffer clinical depression and I have such admiration and understanding for your ongoing battle.
Fast forward a month or so of no job hunting luck, hanging out with my legend of an old man and my angel of a Mum helping in everyway possible I decided okay time to come home to my favourite place, SA. Meanwhile a few hours after booking my flight back home I had a phone call from a resort interested to meet with me. They say everything happens for a reason hey ?!?! So off I went back to Adelaide, glad to be home and so tanned!! I am usually albino white and for those 2 months in sweaty sunny town I turned into a bronzed goddess (in my opinion ).
My mentality of just going with the flow of life started to kick in and I took each day as it came. Well until two weeks ago when I had a major nervous breakdown and psychotic episode. I'll chat more about that at a later date. My approach to anxiety and getting through each day is my support group- my ahhhhmazing other half, my caring and selfless angel Mum, my hilarious classic easy going Dad, amazing and inspiring best friends and my easy to talk to in laws (well hopefully they will be one day hehe). The fantastic staff at Strathalbyn & Noarlunga Hospitals, The Morier Ward, The Mental Health System in South Australia, the list goes on ! These fab people never judge and are always there in good and bad times. My amazing & beautiful GP's, my antipsychotic medication, slow breathing techniques, chamomile tea, decent sleep and yeah okay I'll admit it NO alcohol.
Could I have coping and anxiety issues from being too busy and wanting to always do too much or is it from my earlier years of domestic violence in a previous relationship ? Well its something I hope I can work through during my Psychology and Psychiatry sessions. I just briefly mentioned domestic violence yes... almost 8 years ago I went through this from a messed up relationship that still makes me sick thinking about it. Stalking, having my life and friends life threatened, property damage all that fucked up shit.
I used to be embarrassed and ashamed of this but now I'm so free and open about it so it's time to share my story.
I feel it's a great way to help with my own mental health issues and educate others about serious mental illness.