Facing your fears to move forward.

Back in my younger days, fear was something that was not spoken of let alone researched.  Fear was the taboo and an accepted reality.  It was the thing that most kept hidden “just in case”.

Fear is different for everyone.  For me it was about being found out that I was miserable and hated every fibre of my being.  I feared the cyclical mood swings.  I loathed the person they created.  I hated connecting with people and stepping out beyond the familiar.

When you do a particular behaviour long enough you begin to believe it.  The line in the sand happened when I turned 40.  Through circumstances I chose and being forced by the universe.  Do I face my fears or do I continue let them run me?  I chose to make the BIG BOLD statement of Fuck Off! I got angry with myself and the fears (for me anger serves as a motivator for change...).

The liberation and freedom you feel once you make that decision is truly amazing because everything gets placed into perspective.  My perspective rather than someone else’s story becomes the driving force.  Things begin to make sense and your creativity starts to flow in your vibration.  The sense of attachment and detachment get placed accordingly.  I became authentic to me.

Why such long introduction? Because I want to illustrate how much fear sucks the life out of us.  It sure sucked the life out of me for a long time. My 30’s were just a haze on the big scheme of things. It’s an on-going cycle that I am the only one who could break it. And so CAN YOU.  One key point to remember from my experiences is that fear never really goes away it only changes form as we evolve.  It can actually be a good thing once dealt with the core issues.

The amount of pressure we place on us and expectations others place on us is so truly overwhelming.  We also live in a society that pushes fear to sell particular agendas.  Our filters have been marred with intended purposeful deception. Most fears are unfounded I can honestly say.

Are you still here? If you’re still reading this I will guess that this resonates. J

So what do we do with all this loaded amount of fear? I have a few tips.  First, stare at it in the face.  Running away will only create an avalanche and trust me when I say YOU DON’T WANT THAT! Start talking to it and find where it sits in your body. 

Second, permit time and effort in conversing.  It wants to be heard.  Speak to it softly.  Remember we want calmness.  Anything else will trigger another fearful response.  Give it love.  It has been a while since it had a real voice. I know that I said anger serves as a motivator for me, but imagine it as the jumping block you are about to dive from.  Without that block you will not be able to dive, well you could but it might not be as deep as you should go.

Third, be open to the words that come out.  Respect and accept them. Ask how you can negotiate through the motions. Be flexible, emphatic and judgement free.

And finally remember, that dealing with fear is a conscious work in progress.  Facing your fears is the only way to move beyond.  You would be surprised to find out how strong you really are once the initial hurdles are overcome.


Here’s to YOUR Freedom

Miss B