To the people I have let down, cancelled numerous times on or ask to 'cover' me, this ones for you. I hope this provides you with a little bit of insight to why those events had occurred and for you to know how sorry I am it affected you.
You know the drill, your heart starts racing, your head is full of jumbled words running left, right and centre, your hands start you shake and before you know it you have 'lost' control, lost YOU for just a minute, enough to push down a path you recognise all too well, yet nothing you seem to do helps pull you into the other direction, the path you know you need and should take is out of reach.
A N X I E T Y . EMOTIONAL EATING . SELF S A B O T A G E .
Helping and nourishing others has been in my blood from day dot. From sneakily showing my brother how he could climb out of his cot by stacking up all his teddy bears to help launch himself over the 'other' side to freedom, to when I was 6 years old on our family camp-a-van holiday around NZ collecting big buckets of fresh 'hand picked' grass for the sheep in the field, to receiving my one and only academic award for HOME ECONOMICS. Today I continue to put others first, I will drop everything to help others on their path to a healthier and happier life, why? Because is what truly makes my heart sing, in the words of Emma Seibold (Creator Barre Body).
Why is it so hard for us to dedicate all of our time and energy into physically and mentally nourishing others, yet the very thought of investing that time in myself doesn’t register…
SELF LOVE. SELF RESPECT. SELF CARE
On my journey so far, I have learnt many lessons from personal experience to say the least, however, I truly believe these lessons are to support me on my true life purpose, to educate, empower and support others.
Working and studying in the health and fitness industry, I will admit the pressure (created internally) to ALWAYS lead by example, maintain a particular approach to eating, exercising until I couldn’t exercise any more, all to 'look' the part and have ALL the answers. Clearly unattainable… Consequently, this pressure I put on myself drove me well away from my true values and beliefs, leading to days of self-sabotage, social isolation and to be honest, a pretty unpredictable person to be around.
HEALTH simply CAN NOT BE DEFINED BY SIZE, HEALTH IS TRULY MEASURED BY OUR BLOOD, THE CLARITY OF OUR MIND, OUR ENERGY AND THE STRENGTH OF OUR IMMUNE SYSTEM
From going from a sociable, confident, sporty sister in high school, part of the 'popular' group I guess you could say, never finding it hard to gain male attention (as vain as it may sound, let’s be real), from the outside many would be surprised to find out that I have suffered severely with depression, anxiety and an eating disorder.
I am not here for self-pity, nor to gain attention, rather to let people know that it’s okay, these issues some of us have dealt with DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT define us. These moments of darkness are now providing us with light, light to help and support others, light to minimise the impact and severity of the depths of others journey's and maybe bringing a little bit of awareness to the very fact that we have NO IDEA what someone else has, or is going through.
IF TALKING TO PLANTS HELPS THEM GROW, JUST IMAGINE WHAT TALKING NICELY TO PEOPLE CAN DO
Whether it’s the barista that makes your coffee, the man behind the desk at the petrol station or the elderly lady driving 10km under the speed limit in front of you, smile, and connect for a moment, instead practice giving people the time of day, as we never know what someone is truly going through.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF