So there came a point where I finally had to cut the shit, admit to myself that I had a serious problem and that I needed to talk to people about it and I needed to get some help. I had been lying to myself for years, telling myself that I was fine or I was constantly coming up with excuses and reasons for my problems. I’d jump on google and type in a bunch of symptoms and 20 mins later I decide all my problems might go away if I get some more Iron in my diet... Spoiler Alert, Iron didn’t work!
It went like that for a number of years where I would sense something was wrong with me and I would try to fix it myself. For a long time I genuinely didn’t know I was depressed, but there was a good year or so there where I had kind of admitted to myself it was the problem and I still did nothing.
That was where the cut the shit moment came in, I was fucking miserable and angry and I found myself drinking purely because I didn’t want to feel the way I felt inside. Now I loved to avoid my problems and put off difficult decisions but even I knew these we’re bad signs and that I couldn’t keep heading in this direction.
Taking that first step of talking to family, friends & of course doctor’s was the single hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life but looking back over a year and a half later I can honestly say it’s been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done and my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.
During that year & a half I’ve been able to re take control of my life, grow as a person & go after the things I want in life. I think that once you get on the right track & start making progress it’s such a powerful feeling & that positive momentum just pushes you forward. There’s been some dark times in the past but as far as the futures concerned I know the sky’s the limit.
Written and Submitted by Shane.