You crept into my life a few years ago, unintroduced making a subtle entrance and over time making your power known.
I didn’t know much about you at the time, because you were not talked about back then. In this busy world, you have come to thrive and work your way into the lives of many gentle souls.
You swooped in with full force and stood there large as life when I was at my weakest. I knew something felt wrong it was like fog in my mind.
Transformation had to take place and as much as I did not like you or thank you for it at the time, looking back you did serve a purpose – to make me stronger and to meet adversity with a smile.
My doctor was the first person who confirmed you may be lurking in my life, he talked of medicating me to send you away but this was not something I wanted to do. I wanted to deal with you head on no matter how hard the battle was going to be.
It was the answers to the assessment that suggested you had made yourself comfortable in my daily life and I needed to find ways to send you away.
Professional people gave me strategies to deal with you, they helped me, that was the beginning of my journey to lose you. It is seven years now and I still see you sneaking in when I am least prepared.
But this is what I must thank you for. You have taught me that as a person I need to take more care of myself. Mindfulness, yoga, walking, meditation have now become my closest friends, they are my new positives in life and they are strong enough to push you out when you try to creep in.
Nutritious foods help me stay strong, when I go off track I see you sneaking in there and sending my moods off the edge of sanity.
You are so strong, if I deviate from self-care habits I see you pushing your way in, I fight to stay strong and positive to keep you at bay. You affect my behaviour like a control-freak which affects anyone around me, you will not have this power any more.
Anxiety, you push people to the edge, you dress in grey and black, you hit people like a speeding truck when they are off guard. Your best trick is putting fear into people, telling them ‘You cannot succeed, you cannot do this, you are not worthy’.
You thrive off bullying people into loosing self-esteem and confidence. Children need to know about you and how to deal with you later in life. You are something that we must stand up to.
So once again, thank you for visiting, you made me stronger in so many ways but you are not welcome in my life and if you do try to visit I will fight you every step of the way.
Written and Submitted from Catherine.