I was recently chatting to a friend who was telling me about the time he went camping with a family friend who wore a full face of make up during their entire trip. I look like bloody Hagrid from Harry Potter when I go camping… no make-up and curly afro hair… my excuse is I am embracing the experience or simply not giving a fuck, not sure which one it is yet! Anyways, he told me that he finds her more attractive when she wears no make-up and I asked him if he told her that. He replied telling me that although he wanted to say something he couldn’t because girls are way too fragile these days and no matter if you are giving them a compliment they will somehow turn it around and take offence… You know what the sad thing is? I can relate!!
For so many years I have dealt with major insecurities that even if someone had complimented me, I would turn it around in my head and be like well if they like this about me that means they don’t like that about me…. Like the time I finally built up enough confidence to leave the house and go out clubbing with the girls. Now, I’m not very photogenic and when one of my “instafriends” saw me in the flesh for the first time she fed my insecurities…. “Whitney from Instragram? Heyyyy, OMG you’re so much prettier in real life than in photos!” Instead of accepting this as a “compliment” I deleted the selfie I just posted and downloaded different apps to “enhance” my appearance and experimented with different angles to master the perfect selfie. I couldn’t get that stupid “compliment” out of my head, it made me become so obsessed on looking “perfect” on social media that I lost sight of who I was and sometimes what I looked like (these apps were incredible, they could change everything about your appearance). I remember thinking this isn’t who I am, this isn’t who I want to be, but the truth is I didn’t want to “showcase” who I really was (without a filter) because I was scared that people wouldn’t accept me for me. Thinking about it now it’s kind of sad and pathetic how insecure and obsessed I became after one stupid comment just to get likes on social media…. It came to the point where I had edited a photo so much that I looked ridiculous, like it was worse than the original… and really, at what point am I expected to accept myself for who I am and what I look like when I can easily change things I don’t like in a photo through an app and get majorly disappointed when the person staring back at me in the mirror looks completely different?
So yeah, I get it why my friend was hesitant to compliment her… but it’s also sad that he can easily identify how insecure girls are these days. I think we all need to remember that we are all perfect with imperfections.