I always contemplated the thought of buying a one-way ticket to “find myself” overseas…inspired by eat, pray, love! I love that book and have watched the movie like a thousand times (mainly because I love Julia Roberts). It was truly inspiring how strong she was, I thought that maybe if I watched it a thousand times I would be just as strong as her (boy, was I wrong). I thought that if I went on an overseas journey just like Julia Roberts (in eat, pray love) to self-discovery it would free the demons that were in my head but really I just wanted to run away... as far away from home (where my demons were) as possible! I already felt alone when I was surrounded by my family and friends… I couldn’t imagine how shit I would have felt actually being “alone”! Maybe I would have come back a stronger person like my twin (after she moved up North with her douchebag ex bf) but that wasn’t my journey.
I needed to stay close to the ones I needed the most and face my problems…I never admitted this to anyone that I needed them or that I was about to seek help, I think they just knew and were patiently waiting for me to call upon them. Don’t get me wrong I always wonder what it would have been like if I did just say “fuck it”, bought that one way ticket and started a new life… But in no way do I regret my decision to stay. My “Eat, Pray, Love” journey to self-discovery started when I decided to stay home and face my demons and you know what? The person that I had “found” was a much more stronger person than the person I expected to meet.