Don't Penetrate, Meditate.

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Why should you base your happiness on someone else? Or when you’re with someone else? Why can’t you be happy with your own company?

I totally understand that sometimes (who am I kidding, every time) you go through a break up you don’t know what to do with yourself, because that part of you is now missing. In fact, you lost yourself into that relationship that is why you are feeling like that part of you is missing. So naturally, the first thing you will be drawn to is filling that void, plastic or real they are all the same!

However girlfriend, instead of penetrating, try “meditating”. What I mean is instead of finding love in a lonely place with a stranger you just swiped right to on tinder, having insta-sex with that cute new guy who started following you, or Facebook messaging an old fling trying to organise a “take my mind off the breakup” date, focus that attention on yourself. I am not going to lie and say that once you find yourself and fill the void of being alone that you will never feel lonely again, because you will at some points in your life. It will just simply repair your broken soul (or ego) and spark a new love, with yourself.

When I say meditate, I mean investing time to try new things and learn new things about yourself. Meditation/meditating is defined (by The Buddhist Centre) as a means of transforming the mind that encourages and develops concentration, clarity, emotional positivity that (with practice) can lead to a new understanding of life and habits. I understand that it’s so easy to “lose yourself” in a relationship because you enjoy spending your time with your partner and when that relationship is over you feel lost and confused which can lead to depression. You may not see this as a positive straight away but you will have a lot of free time that you need to fill, so instead of sitting around thinking of ways to win him back, think of things that you have/or would never think of doing for yourself or by yourself...and plus, how are you going to meet yourself if you don’t put yourself out there?

For me, I meditated through writing, reading, practicing Pilates and Yoga, camping (who would have thought….), hiking and kayaking. I found new things that made me happy, I invested my time and energy into them. Every day I tried to practice at least one of my “meditation techniques” and you know what the more it did the more it changed my life, I was becoming happier. I became a Pilates Instructor, I wrote a book, and I started this blog. The more you do things that you love, the more you find yourself and (hopefully) prevent losing yourself again.

Morale of the story… penetrate your mind and fall in love with yourself.